There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil Ecclesiastes 2:25

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live wisely and earnestly for the present-Teaching of the Buddha

Every moment in our life is valuable. The seed of joy is planted in all of our circumstances and all it takes is for us to water it and harvest the fruit. Every moment in our life is to be savored and enjoyed because it all exists to make up the tapestry and the artwork that is called our story. That’s why I live with no regrets! Yes I said it. With all the stupid stuff that I have done and the wrong turns that I have made I have no regrets. Why? Because every dumb decision and wrong turn has brought me to this moment and in this moment I am fully alive. Most of the time we miss it and spend countless minutes, hours, and days wishing we were living someone else’s story. Instead of being present in our own we drift away and waste what is precious by looking toward the past or stressing about the future

Instead of thinking about another story to live I have chosen to savor every moment. Every day my goal is to enjoy the now whether it’s getting my kids to clean up their messy room or eating a nice crisp fuji apple. I take it all in and realize that I have been given a gift: the gift of life

How can we do this on a regular basis?

Slow down Most of our life is lived at a speed that is unsustainable and counterproductive to actually living in the present. Instead of going through the day at 90 mph the best thing to do is to slow down. You will be amazed at what happens. You begin to see the important things more clearly and eliminate the unnecessary. You begin to notice the beauty that is all around you and become content with your life just as it is.

Breathe This simple act is the foundation of our life. Once you slow down practice breathing. I practice breathing while I do some of the mundane tasks that I would rather not do like washing dishes or putting the kids to bed. Eventually the breathing leads to meditation and meditation leads to prayer and prayer leads to peace If nothing else I am reminded of the gift of life that I have been given.

Use all of your senses The next time you are eating don’t just concentrate on the taste. Notice the smells. The texture. The sound of the food as it cooks over the stove. Begin to use all five of your senses with every action that you take. Life is not made for just going through the motions. Life is to be experienced

Be Grateful Finally,be grateful. When we practice gratitude we begin to live in the moment. We are grateful and thankful for what we have now in the moment. It does not matter whether we have the latest technological gadget or whether we have the best looking house or car on the block. We are thankful for our story and we are fully present within it. So begin to write a list of what you are thankful for or practice letting others know how much you appreciate their presence in your life story.

Savor the moment!!!

Sometimes we experience these milestones and transitions along the same time table as everyone else but sometimes it’s not about being on a certain chronological time table with the rest of our peers or what society expects i.e. twenty first or fortieth birthday. Sometimes it’s just about what God is doing in us and with us at this moment; in this season. Right now I am experiencing one of those seasons; one of those moments. I am thirty four and my life is changing right before my eyes. Some of these changes include:

I just lost 12 lbs

Gaining a whole new perspective on relating to God (writing about that soon)

Taking actual steps toward writing a book (one chapter down

This is turning out to be a year of transformation and it has not all been meticulously planned. I just took advantage of what God gave me: a church that closed, a move to another city, and a need for rest. What has been a moment of fatigue, disappointment, and frustration has also turned out to be one of the best seasons of my life. No it didn’t start on January 1st but sometime around October. I am not on anyone’s timetable but my own. This is my incredible year of transformation.

Believe in Yourself

For the longest time I have been contemplating shaving my head instead of going to a barber. I just didn’t get around to it because I am not the most dexterous person on the planet and imagined myself really doing a crummy job. This is something that has been a barrier to reaching other goals as well and it was only until a few weeks ago that I decided to believe that I could do it. This was such a breakthrough because I had been stuck thinking that I could not accomplish such a simple task. It was a revelation because it revealed how much I didn’t believe in myself for some of the other larger goals and tasks that I wanted to complete in life. I mean if shaving my own head created so much fear in me then what other things were being postponed through fear. I want to do a lot of big things and I never realized how much those were so far away from being done because I could not even believe in myself to do a lot of small things. Thousands of people do it every day but in this simple act I received the knowledge that allows us as humans to live out our best and brightest potential: Believe in yourself!

Take action and fear disappears

As soon as I ran the clippers across the top of my head I realized there was no turning back. The deed was done. You know what else was done. My fear. It vanished the moment I began shaving my head. The reason: Once you take action then you do not have time to be afraid. There is no space to allow fear to grip you. You have already begun executing the task and taking steps toward the goal. The fear that once held you back is now behind you. This means that the best thing we can do when it comes to seeing our goals and dreams reached is take that first step. Whatever it is. Get on the treadmill. It doesn’t matter how fast you go just get on it! Start typing. It doesn’t matter if you have 300 more pages to go and none of it makes sense. Just do it! Go without cigarettes for one day. Just take that first step and watch the fear disappear.

Always get another perspective

As I was cutting I could not see the whole of my head. There was a point where I needed to get the hair from behind my ears and on the back of my head and I had no help. I tried my hardest to just go with it and shave blindly hoping that if I went over it enough times then I would have done a pristine job. After a while I thought I should just go to bed I’m sure I shaved it off and made it even with the other parts (laziness!). Then I stopped and said what is making you not just ask Yvette for help. So I thought about it and I realized that underneath it all: I wanted to live in denial. I wanted to choose to believe in something that I did not have any evidence for when I could have received the necessary feedback from someone right near me. Sometimes this can happen with larger goals. We can choose to believe we are doing a great job but never get feedback from those closest to us. It is always good to get another perspective. So go see a trainer, a counselor, a respected friend or mentor and get the necessary feedback you need to reach your goals.

Some mistakes are easy to fix and some aren’t

As with all of life some mistakes are easy to fix and some aren’t. The first few times I shaved my head I did an excellent job. I always had to go to Yvette to figure out if I missed some spots or if it was even. These mistakes were easy to fix and I just needed to go over them with the clippers a few more times. On the other hand the third time I shaved my head I actually shaved my skin off and had a sore in the front of my head. It is still there right now and I have had to endure looking like  I have a patch of hair in the front of my head. This is a mistake that is not easy to fix. I have to wait until my skin heals and it has been painful just looking at it every morning

Sometimes in life there are easy course corrections we can make: I have been eating a few too many sweets. Cut back. I spent a little more than I should have this Christmas. Ok save up in January. Work a second job for a few months. There are other mistakes that cannot be easily fixed: I have been eating a few too many sweets for years and now I have diabetes. I have loads of credit card debt and school debt. I have been smoking for years and I have to get checked out for lung cancer. These aren’t easy fixes. That’s not to say that these things can’t be fixed it just means that it will take a longer and a greater amount of money and labor to fix them if they can be fixed at all. Right now is the best time to concentrate on doing the easy fixes so you don’t have to deal with the bigger problems down the road. That’s why I’m eating better and exercising-not as a New Year’s resolution but as a life decision-so I don’t have to fix a difficult mistake later.

You always get another chance

As I look at my hair grow back and my skin heal I am realizing that life is so generous to us. No matter how many mistakes you make you have numerous opportunities to course correct. I realize these days how much I was blinded by envy and ambition when I was younger and I squandered the early years of my marriage. But I have another chance and I am taking advantage of it by loving and enjoying my wife. I could have been more disciplined in my eating habits and avoided a growing gut and a few trips to the doctor. But I still have the chance to be healthy. Wherever you are right now in pursuit of your goals be grateful that you have the opportunity to pursue them. You may think it’s too late but you always have another chance. As long as there is breath in your lungs you can make decisions that lead to wholeness and success. 2012 is going to be a great year for taking advantage of the opportunities that life has given you.

Happy New Year!

I think sometimes talk of new year’s resolutions gets old because it is based on the year and not based on our lives. It is a resolution that ultimately fails because it is time bound and not life bound. Think about it. We resolve to lose weight and eat healthier every year. We buy bran muffins and asparagus. We get gym memberships and new workout clothes but by February and sometimes the second week of January we are back to supersizin it on a regular basis. Why? It is because our desired change is based on New Year’s resolutions and not New Life decisions.

I do not have any resolutions for 2012. I am already full speed ahead with my goals for life:

• I have started my workout plan

• I have already begun to write my book and am about to finish the first chapter in a few days.

I am making progress because these things come from a place deep inside of me and not from an external clock or ritualized calendar. They are simply what I want and I have decided to go after them. So no resolutions for me in 2012. Just a continuing of putting my hand to the plow and not looking back.

Instead of focusing on resolutions this year Here’s a better way to see change happen in your life:

• Sit down with a paper and pen
• Take some space and time to let some of your deepest desires surface.
• Write down the one that is most important right now
• Whatever that thing is pursue it with all your might.

That’s what is driving me and motivating me to go to the gym in rain and snow. I love this method because it makes the change about you and what you really want and not some moralistic guilt ridden promise that you made to yourself simply because the earth moved around the sun one more time! So no resolutions in 2012 for me. Just some awesome life decisions.

Look for the white blaze!

Last week after months of blood, sweat, and tears I opened my Fuller account. Attached a file to an email for my faculty mentor and pressed send. It was the culmination of 4 years of assignments, a program change, moving across the city and then across the country. After numerous interviews and edits and revisions I finally sent in my Master of Arts in Intercultural Studies writing project.

Consequently all this week that’s all I have been talking about. I can’t help but let people know that I am finished. But after I let them know the inevitable question comes up: What’s next? Personally I am just satisfied resting in the glory of my accomplishments. I have learned that I need to rest in the present moment before jumping into something else wholeheartedly. And as I am resting I am planning and thinking and preparing.

“What’s next?” you ask. I am planning on hiking a section of the Appalachian trail here in Pennsylvania otherwise known as Rocksylvania to the many hikers who have conquered the terrain and paid the price with their boots. Why do I want to hike the trail?

3 reasons:

1. I have always wanted to hike the most beautiful trails in every part of the world. This is just a warm up. I have so many on my list (simien mountains national park in Ethiopia, the japanese alps, samaria gorge on the island of Crete, the campostela in spain, Cinque Terre in Italy)

2. It is a good motivator to get in shape. The last hike I went on took 8 hrs instead of the standard 4 because I was huffing and puffing.

3. Seeing that I am in a season of learning self care it is a good next goal that has nothing to do with anyone else but me.

So that’s my next goal. My next step is hitting up Planet Fitness tomorrow and hitting the treadmill and the stepper.

Also I am up in the air on which section of the trail I should hike. Maybe you can help me.

This one: Clark Creek to Swatara Gap

or This one: Blue Mountain Ridge

or This one: Fox Gap to Delaware Water Gap

I want something challenging but also exciting. Not just boring rocks.

Oh yeah one more thing. If you are in the Central/Eastern Pennsylvania area in late April to early May then please come and join me!

Sometimes life can seem like the same old thing. You’re born. You pay taxes. You die. You go to work eight hours a day. You commute back and forth. You go to sleep. And you do this same thing for 30-40 years.

It may seem boring and monotonous but life was not designed for boredom and monotony. Now back in the day this would have been ok. You would have gotten married at 14 or 16. You would have already started backbreaking work on a farm or in a mine and died around 30 or 40. Life was filled with suffering but at least it wasn’t prolonged suffering. Studies show that Americans are living longer and if we are living longer let’s not waste all that time being bored and unsatisfied.  Here is how you can get the most out of life:

Appreciate what u have

This is one area where we can miss out the most. We do not enjoy the things that we already have. Start with the basic essentials to life. Like breathing. This is why I love breathing meditation or breath prayer. It brings you back to the essence of what it means to be alive. Today if you do not have a penny to your name or any friends to call on the one thing you do have is life.

On top of that if you are in the United States you have more than most everyone in the world. The problem is that as much as we are privileged in this country we do not enjoy our lives. We are always grasping for something more. I can remember being in Ethiopia and noticing that many of the poorest people there were the most happy. They may not have had running water but they had joy because appreciated what they had: family, friends, breath in their lungs. Life can be taken for granted so much that we forget to really live. Appreciate what u have. Life itself.

Know what you want

Have you ever been to a restaurant and didn’t know what to order? There are so many choices on the menu nowadays that it’s hard to know what to choose. You usually end up getting something that is less than satisfactory. Why? Because you didn’t go in with a definite purpose and plan to eat a specific thing. Whatever you ordered didn’t measure up because you really didn’t want it in the first place.

By knowing what we want we bypass all the substitutes for happiness and satisfaction. Many of these things are false expectations given to us by the media or our culture.There are many who have said they climbed the ladder of success only to realize they were on the wrong wall. If you are killing yourself, ruining your relationships, and not enjoying the time God has given you on this green earth chasing after an elusive dream of more money, power, fame or just plain more it helps to know whether it is really what you want. For most people in the world (about 99%) it is not worth it. If you talk to many of the most successful and satisfied people in the world you will find out that they are successful and satisfied not by chasing after those things mentioned above but by being themselves and pursuing their passion that burns in their heart. The people who get the most out of life are the ones who truly know what they want out of life.

Be childlike

One thing that I have noticed over the years is that the people who are the most “mature” are oftentimes the most unhappy. It is sad to see people become stuffy and sad because they think it is an inevitable process of aging. Like the song says “Age aint nothin but a number” and the people who I have seen get the most out of life do not relegate themselves to acting a certain age. Now don’t get me wrong. They are not naive or irresponsible. I am not talking about the 56 year old lady up in the club and droppin it like it’s hot (or lettin it down like it’s lukewarm). No! That’s not being childlike. That’s just being unaware of how ridiculous you look. I am talking about something much more sublime like embracing the world as a child. When we are filled with childlike awe and wonder we can extract joy from the simple things in life and shake off those things that weigh us down. Have you ever notice children seem to play with some of the strangest things like cardboard or cut up pieces of carpet? It’s because the have a sense of wonder about the world around them. Maybe we should take a cue.

Think adventure

False expectations can make life unsatisfactory. Part of this is due to ideas from our culture and our families. One of those ideas is that the goal of life is safety and security. Most commercials and sitcoms thrive off of appealing to the masses with this deep seated yet misdirected desire. These things are illusory and will always escape us. Many folks thought they had safety and security before the 2008 recession/depression. That idea was torn down fast when they had to leave their homes or were laid off from their jobs. There is no ultimate safety and security. A good job will not give you security. A nice comfy neighborhood will not give you safety. This is life: Anything can happen! Why chase after a dream that will never materialize?

Newsflash: Life is not a quiet green meadow! Life is not a less smiley faced version of Pleasantville! It is a roller coaster ride! it is a trip through the jungle with wild animals lurking behind every corner. Some folks would say that is what they want to avoid and others would say that is what they want to step into. Why? Because the moment you realize life is not intended to give you safety, comfort, or security is the moment you really start living!When it comes to life. Think adventure!!! You were not made for a peaceful boat ride in a stream. You were made to weather life’s storms and waves! Think adventure and life gets exciting and satisfying!

How do you take advantage of the life you’ve been given?

My first Thanksgiving here in Pittsburgh (more accurately   Western Pennsylvania) was actually spent with Yvette’s family in New Castle, PA about an hour north of Pittsburgh. The food was good and I have been taking the leftovers to work. But even more special than the food was the fact that I did not feel lonely or out of place on Thanksgiving. For 34 years I have spent Thanksgiving on the west coast with my family and it has been comfortable. You know who is going to say what. You know who is going to do the prayer. You know that there will be nothing but football and naps after the meal. This Thanksgiving all that was not anticipated and I was going to a new place. But although it was new it felt very familiar. Yvette asked me whether I felt like an outside or with family and I said “Like I was with family”. That is something to be thankful no matter what day it is or where I find myself in the world

Tomato soup

Sliding down the side of a jet black mug

Into a red shaped puddle

Liquid mass

Sending out signals

Of this all too well known

Experience

Of imperfection

But in a moments time

It grows on you

Not as ugly as it first appeared

Red and White

Contrasting

Coming together

Never totally blending

The black cup

Sitting in the pool of their intimacy

Yes! It stopped me

Long enough to see the mess made on the countertop

Was beauty. Beauty incarnate

And that reminds me of another beautiful spill

For me recently my bad day consisted of being late for work. You might say that’s nothing. Who hasn’t been late for work? Well it seems trivial but I was late for work in the worst way….two hours late. It turns out that I had written my schedule down incorrectly. So I walk in unaware and ignorant that my manager had called me two hours before wondering where I was. Oh I forgot to add: My phone is not functioning properly so it only has power when I plug it up to the charger. On top of that something is wrong with the receiver so I cannot hear calls. Needless to say everything kind of snowballed from there. It wasn’t my worst bad day but it definitely was a bad day. I managed to get through the night and thankfully I still have my job but I began thinking about what it takes to cope with a bad day, month, year, or even a decade (Yes those exist. Think about puberty or the 70′s). So here are my steps to getting over a bad day:

Discover the “at least” or rock bottom principle.

One of the ways that I get over bad days is by using the “at least” or rock bottom principle. If you are not dead then you have not hit rock bottom! I repeat: IF YOU ARE NOT DEAD THEN YOU HAVE NOT HIT ROCK BOTTOM! To put it simply things could be worse. I use this principle all the time. At work if I drop something I feel like a klutz but it is all smoothed out with the at least principle: “At least what I dropped wasn’t glass”. Or take coming in to work two hours late: “At least I didn’t get fired”. It works for just about anything except death and even that is not entirely off limits if you believe in a hereafter. Can u imagine it now? Well at least I’m here and not being tortured over there…

Get a Do over mentality

If it’s a bad day, week, month, year or decade then trust that you will get the opportunity to have a better one and don’t squander it. All the mistakes I made in my high school years I got to correct in my twenties. All the mistakes I made in my twenties I am getting a chance to correct now in my thirties. If you still have breath in your lungs then you have an opportunity for a do over. Golfers have a word for this. It’s called a mulligan!

Have grace for yourself

Lastly have grace for yourself. If you are having a bad day do not make it worse by judging and devaluing yourself. A bad day does not mean a bad you. After arriving to work late all I could think about was how much of a screw up I was. At the same time that was mental energy I could have been using to do a good job and make what seemed to be a bad day better. I tried hard to make up for it and prove to everyone that I wasn’t a spaced out lazy jerk. The thing is I don’t think anybody was thinking that but me. It was the Sunday before Thanksgiving and the place was a madhouse. No time to be thinking about how bad somebody else screwed up. Sometimes we can be so self centered that a bad day becomes worse because of all the negative thoughts going on in our heads.

So those are my three healthy ways of coping with a bad day. What are yours?

The very term “church shopping” leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When I say it I feel transported into the land of the consumer where the prices are low and the options are limitless. Can I really customize my church experience? Can I really customize spiritual community?

At the same time that is the reality of our American religious landscape. Due to the fact that there is no state church and free market capitalism holds sway we are bombarded with choices when it comes to what faith community we will “belong” to? For some reason it feels as though belonging is cheapened when we have so many choices and such a penchant for customization. It explains why searching for a church has come to be called “church shopping”.

And then there is the actual experience itself. I now have a new sensitivity to visitors of churches now that I have been a visitor. It can be overwhelming. For the first three weeks you get more attention than a 2 month old. I know people mean well but sometimes it seems contrived. Ultimately I know this kind of attention won’t last long. I always wondered what people thought when they came to one of our gatherings….

So far we have gone to a few churches in the area and there is one that really stands out to me: Vineyard Southwest. We only visited Vineyard Southwest once but it is growing on me. That’s because 1) the pastor said “sin cooties” in his sermon (as in stop acting like hanging out with people who are not Christians will give u the sin cooties) and 2) they came by last Saturday and gave us chocolate chunk cookies. Not just chips but chunks! What more could a consumer ask for?